Do you actually need the answer ?

“What next?” that’s what Aakash asked himself when one fine day he was a bit high on three pints of beer.

Aakash is a software engineer, who has graduated from a reputed college two years back and is working for an MNC in Bangalore. All through his life, he has been a part of, rather a top contender of, the race that never seems to end. It’s a race of survival, it’s a race towards acceptance, it’s a race to meet expectations and it has, no finish line. Aakash has done well in life so far, he was a top rated student, he is one of the outstanding performers in job, and everyone seem to be satisfied with him. Everyone, except Aakash. There is a question which he has answered many a times, and yet he faces the trouble of answering the same question again and again. The question is – What next?  He had, many a times heard his inner voice cry out to him, saying it doesn’t want to bear the pressure of “What next” anymore. Today sitting in the balcony of his two room apartment, on the 9^th floor, with a Carlsberg in his hand, at around 1 AM, Aakash has asked himself the same question again. However, today the difference is, that he isn’t actually looking for an answer. Today he is looking at the question itself. Today, he wants to know if it is the right thing for him to ask the same question over and over again.

Another sip of beer and Aakash felt asleep in the cool breeze under the moonlight in the balcony itself. That night he had a dream. He dreamt of a stage where there were no audience. He saw himself, walking to the podium through a dark passage. The passage, as it approached the stage, lit up with bright lights and soon he stood there in a huge empty auditorium under flood lights. A shrill of joy passed through his body. He could feel his smile growing bigger and bigger. He sensed for the first time, how satisfaction actually felt. He felt for the first time, how it felt to tell yourselves that you have nothing more to prove. That night, the guy who was on that stage did not have questions on his mind, he did not have answers to look for, and all he could feel was the joy of being there.

Next morning when Aakash woke up, he still didn’t have the answer to his question of what next, but the difference was, that he wasn’t actually looking for that answer anymore. He went to work that day with a grin on his face. He went through his daily chore without thinking about what next.

That dream he had, didn’t unveil any mysteries, it just filled a gap in his mind and today he could enjoy all that was there in his life. The dream he saw existed in his subconscious mind, but it was just too clouded by doubts and questions for him to see. The dream, is all he needed to know that his future is not a pre-written book, it’s a canvas. The dream, is all he needed to understand that aspirations define the man who carries them, they do not bog him down. The question of what next still persisted, but, it wasn’t a hammer on the head anymore, it was just a question unanswered.