Discovering myself.

I once happened to know a boy in his early teenage, cluttered hair, big deep eyes, soft voice and an innocent face. Brought up in different regions of Himachal, all he knew about life was to accept things as they were put in front of him. I really doubt if he had ever heard of words like confront, challenge, deceive, resist or even reason. His actions suggested that never had the thoughts like me, I, my life, etc. had crossed his mind. Just tell him that it was your fault and he would be ready to be rebuked. Just tell him to let go and he wouldn’t give it a second thought. Just turn up to him for any favor and the answer could never have been negative. He took life literally, if his dictionary said friend is someone who should be helped, there was nothing that could stop him from helping a friend (can’t be sure of the tag) not even any significant personal loss. If his moral sciences book said elders are to be obeyed, he wouldn’t simply obey but follow them like a slave. He had no ambitions what so ever, no goals to achieve, nobody to compete with, no expectations from anybody. I bet that if for once you would have gazed into his silent eyes, you would have felt the sincerity of his personality. People praised him for his innocence, his honesty, his naïve attitude, his compassion, his calmness, his obedience and what not…………….. The same group of people, behind his back, would point out at his foolishness, his imprudence, his stupidity, and his materialistic failures. I am sure that in today’s time even I would laugh at any such person and tag him as an under achiever, as nothing more than a disappointment. He was proved to be an idiot on many occasions, he was betrayed, and at times he found himself crying all to himself for his agony despite of making so many friends, despite of leading such an idealistic life.

Today he is ambitious; he is leading towards the destination he seeks, a destination that would bring success, money, respect, social status. People look up to him with expectations, he finds himself in a league of people who have taken the first step towards a glorious life, his parents are proud of his achievements, he has a huge social network of friends and relatives, his life today portrays a perfect college lad, he does things that every other striving individual would do and is rather better than many of his competitors. His definition of a friend has changed into more of a business like relationship, he seems to be honest but you can’t distinguish between what he is true about and what is just a deception. He seems to be a high flier but I can’t be sure of the legitimacy of those heights. Yes, some things are missing; some things have been lost forever. No more shall you find that innocence in his eyes, gone is that compassion from his actions, his eyes still remain to be silent but that silence swathes’ emotions that were once sinister for him…… And now when I ask myself who is a better person that kid or this young lad, I don’t have an answer.

Sorry if I bored you with some heck of philosophy, but I just felt like penning it down………………. sb